An Easter prayer

I' m on retreat at the moment in a Benedictine monastery in Brittany (Landevennec). Whilst reading my personal journal that I have kept for many years I came across something I'd written about 10yrs. ago but which still felt relevant to me today. I've tweaked it slightly. Here it is...

My crutch

Clouds rolling in, they say it's going to rain.
The air weighs heavy on my chest.
Anxiety and fear grip me as before.
What am I going to do?

If only I would let you in, if I would only trust in you
then surely your peace would find me.
But I'm afraid of letting go, as if I'm clinging to the pain like to a crutch,
when all you want is to set me free.

Heal me, set me free, O Lord, that I may let go and fall into your arms.
And give me the courage I need, so that when the clouds roll,
the thunder roars and rains fall,
I may lift my arms in praise,
turn my smiling face to you and sing "ALLELUIA!!"

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